YMMVYour Mileage May Vary

This week, Keith and Mike attempt to rank the most important superficial traits that influence male sexual desire, beginning with a list that includes weight, ethnicity, facial attractiveness, figure, and everything else. What begins as an exercise in prioritization soon becomes a deep dive into personal biases, aesthetic heuristics, and a surprising amount of geometry. Keith provides a mechanical breakdown of sexual logistics with overweight partners, which leads to a somewhat academic discussion of bodily angles and the limitations of certain sexual positions. Mike contributes moral support, skepticism, and vivid analogies involving sport-fucking and Eastern European machinery.

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Keith and Mike mark their 200th episode today. They begin by reflecting on the accuracy of milestone counting and segue into a discussion about Barry Bonds, Hank Aaron, and the fallibility of supposedly sacred sports statistics. Keith expresses suspicion that his own episode count spreadsheet may contain hidden corruption, though Mike assures him the podcast network’s data file would make such an error unlikely. The moment is appropriately celebrated with a shared sense of modest self-congratulation and implied service to humanity.

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Keith returns from Mardi Gras and reflects on the surprisingly family-friendly atmosphere, alongside the expected open-container debauchery. He and Mike discuss bead culture, public flashing, and how social dynamics at such events can override typical social inhibitions. The conversation segues into the cultural legacy of Girls Gone Wild, including its covert marketing of hardcore pornography and the legal grey areas surrounding consent and identification. Mike notes that his preferred porn was "too advanced" for Girls Gone Wild, which is a humblebrag if there ever was one.

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This week's episode begins with a discussion about a recent controversy involving Elon Musk and an alleged baby trap, debating the ethical and financial implications of such a maneuver. The conversation quickly expands into a broader critique of transactional relationships and the unintended consequences for the children involved.

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Keith and Mike take a measured approach to their latest batch of one-star reviews, which range from the standard accusations of misogyny to the more concerning claim that their voices induce sleep. Rather than engage in self-reflection, they consider the possibility of pivoting to the lucrative world of sleep podcasts. Keith, ever the economist, points out that their detractors failed to take advantage of the show’s longstanding policy of paying for negative feedback. This oversight only serves to reinforce his belief that their harshest critics may not be operating at peak intellectual capacity.

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